The day he arrived was strange. I had not exactly forgotten about him, as he had rented the entire castle (people often just rented a wing or even a suite), but he, Howard Hughes style, had decided that he wanted the whole kit & caboodle. Of course, it turned out there were six of them in the party so they took up a substantial chunk of the place anyway. But he was kind of at the back of my mind, just another faceless ‘them’ expecting caviar at four in the morning and their newspapers ironed.
It was technically my job to meet & greet, but there had been a disaster in the kitchen and I was trying to stop George killing the sous chef, at least till lunch was over.
Once everything was calmed down sufficiently and a substitute found for the quails eggs, I went upstairs to the main suite in the Stewart wing.
I met Gabriel coming out of the ante room. “Well, everyone settled?”
Gabriel smiled and took a £20 note out his pocket, grin spreading.
I raised an eyebrow. Tipping in the American style – i.e. before the stay begins, to ensure good service – was not uncommon. But £20 was a lot for an underling. Unless, of course, our Mr Saphir thought Gabriel was the cock of the walk – so to speak.
I watched the note go back into his pocket and said, “Anyway, don’t be too sure that it’s going to get any better. That might be all your cash cow is handing out.”
Gabriel shook his head. “Wasn’t him. One of his lackeys. The great man doesn’t do tipping. This was for arranging a sandwich for them. They don’t want to go down for lunch.”
“Hoo-boy,” I said. “George isn’t going to like that. I just managed to stop assault and battery over quails’ eggs.”
“They’ve got work to do. I quote.”
“Well, not a holiday then, I’m guessing, since his arse hasn’t hit a seat yet.”
“Doesn’t look like the sitting type.”
I looked at him shrewdly. “Live up to your expectations?”
Gabriel moved further down the corridor, away from the suite door, although we were already well out of hearing, unless Saphir was standing behind the ante-room door with his ear to the dense two inch thick oak panelling. “The man’s a honey. I mean delicious. Serious hottie.”
I laughed at his choice of adjective. Sometimes he was too gay. “Well, he’s out of your league, sweetie. Dream on.”
“Oh, I will. So, do we reset the dining room?”
“No, we’ll leave it – in case they decide they want to eat dinner upstairs too. Better warn George. We’ll be eating well tonight anyway, on his Majesty’s lunch. Come on, let’s go see what’s cooking.”
I didn’t see him at dinner either. They stayed in the master suite, and Gabriel took up more food, this time a proper meal, so at least George was appeased. Gabriel got tipped again, a tenner this time, and was declaiming as we all sat at the supper table later that night that if he kept this up he’d be able to retire early.
“Only to an old folks home in Hull,” I said.
Wee Billy laughed inordinately, like he always did when he got a joke – which wasn’t often – and Gabriel said, “Three weeks at thirty quid a day is £630. Don’t knock it.”
“Hope he tips the cleaners,” Alison said. She cleaned the rooms with Becky and made sure the toilet paper was folded and the requisite planet-squandering, laundry-wasting clean towels were put in daily.
There was a lot more conjecture on what they were likely to get out of him, until the imaginations calmed down sufficiently for them to change to other topics.
I excused myself at eleven and went up to bed. I had my own ‘suite’ up in the sole turret the castle boasted, added in 1867 because the castle didn’t look Gothic enough. I had a bedroom on one floor and a sitting room with a small bathroom just off it on the floor below. It was inconvenient to go up and down the stairs, but it beat the original accommodation I’d had and which most of the others still shared, i.e. the original servants’ quarters up in the attics. Their rooms had combed ceilings and they all shared two bathrooms. As the most senior person on the place, except for Hughie and George who both had estate houses, I got the butler’s domain. I had never actually been given the name of butler, but it’s what I was, to all intents and purposes.
Of course, the downside of all this was I was on call. I shared it with Gabriel, of course – the girls were exempt because there had once been some bother with a TV producer who had attempted to molest one of them – but, in practice, it was mostly me who got called out, simply because a lot of the things people wanted or needed at night were not run-of-the-mill. It was an emergency night call, not 24 hr room service, but sometimes you had problems convincing drunk rock stars who couldn’t get their usual adult cable channel of that fact.
Sure enough, I was woken from my sleep at just after 2 am by the bedside phone. There was a little gap before it connected from the main desk, which meant people often had to wait that fragment too long in being answered. Plus, of course, it could take a while for my sleep-addled brain to realise that I was needed. Subsequently, when you answered the phone, it was not unusual to get someone rather irate at the other end.
This woman wasn’t irate, she was more ‘being kept waiting’, just that little hint of rattiness, frost, which indicated you better get your ass in gear.
“Hello?” I mumbled.
“Hello? Hello? Is that the concierge?”
“It’s the emergency line, madam. Can I help?”
“I need some aspirin.”
I struggled up in bed and clicked on the light. Aspirin. Aspirin. Where was aspirin? Finally my brain tracked it down. “Aspirin is in your bathroom cabinet, madam. Along with paracetamol and ibuprofen.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“I’m sorry?”
“It isn’t. I’ve looked. There’s none there.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure. I’m standing right beside it, and there’s none there.”
I sighed. Oh, Alison’s head would roll for this tomorrow. I swung my feet out of the bed, saying, “I’ll bring some along straight away, madam. I’m very sorry about this. Is there anything else you would like?” I had grown wise to the ways of night owls. In general, once they were up they were up, and you could expect more fun and games. I’d learned to forestall this with the pre-emptive strike of fulfilling all their needs at once. Didn’t always work – especially for the ones who were actually lonely – but it was worth a try.
I got up and struggled into my clothes. We weren’t allowed to go in dressing gown and pyjamas. After that I struggled down the cold stone steps of my eyrie and tried to pull my tie straight.
I had to stop at the front desk to have a look at the register as I had no idea which suite she was in. I prayed like hell that there wasn’t more than one woman in the party. I had forgotten to ask where, or who, she was.
But I was in luck. There was only one female in the party, a Miss Janine Saphir. Not a Jewish name, that, Janine. At least I didn’t think so. So it had to be a Mrs. No, it couldn’t be. He wasn’t married – at least, according to Gabriel. Could have been wrong, of course. Or it could be a female relative, perhaps. Cousin or something. Rich men often had extended families a la Charles Dickens, i.e. half a dozen penurious relatives living off him.
Well, find out soon enough. I made my way up to the Victoria Suite, which annexed directly onto the great man’s, and knocked on the door.
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Hello
I am broken from your dislike of the West Wing. I’m starting to feel bad. It’s not surprising though I never get this stuff right. I always lend my DVD’s out and say people will love them and I am never right. I am going to resort to my fall back of letting people choose them themselves. I have got Cape Wrath I’ll send it up in the next few days, it might get there for christmas or just after. I also have The Take, do you want me to send that as well, for a Hardy marathon.
I hope you like it because I loved Dirt I’ve bought it already (can I get series 2 anywhere by the way I’ve had a look and can’t find i. Do you have it?)
Oh while I’ve remembered, do you have a Wuthering Heights with Ian Mcshane as Heathcliff. I am dying to see it and can’t get it anywhere.
Your always recomending things I enjoy, I’m going to have to find something your going to like. You gave me Funland and now Dirt. I really like Don Konkey and Holt was very attractive. I really liked the hostage episode and the levels the celebrities stooped to be famous, twisted.
There are a couple of series I wanted to run by you to see if you wanted them, I’ll have them ready for after Cape Wrath. I have Robin Hood, the BBC series. I know this is out of left field because it was more or less a shit kids show, and most of it is absolute turd but there is a relationship in it that is really interesting and dark. It’s between Maid Marian and one of the villains. It’s really interesting, he’s obssessed with her, it’s wuite intense and they make a strage choice with the story that comes out of left field. However, the rest of the program is really bad (except I like Keith Allan’s Sherif, but the rest is bad), so you may not be interested. The other is Prison Break which I’m sure you’ll have heard about, the first series is good and there is a character in it thats really interesting. He’s a peadophile murderer, but you like him (I do anyway). It’s not that he’s a nice man and you think oh what a nice peadophile murderer, he’s a bastard, but he’s played with so much charm. I thought it was quite odd for a mainstream program.
I have Ravenous on DVD from your recomendation, another one I have to thank you for. I really liked it. Frailty was another one I really enjoyed. You really are better at this than I am. But I’d rather have one of the series you mentioned first as I am in the house on my own for some of Christmas and don’t want to freak myself out too much.
Let me know what you fancy next.
P.S. I went to see Where the Wild Things Are, I enjoyed that a lot but probably wouldn’t see it again. Maybe give it a try if you get the chance though, it was worth the watch.
P.P.S. I have pre ordered Mesrine both parts, its coming end of January. After I’ve seen it do you want to borrow that one?
We are soldiering on with West Wing, but although it’s got better, every episode is still blighted by that marshmallow centre. I read a really good review of it on Amazon that said it was like watching a Frank Capra movie, and that if anyone produced a show in the UK with the prime minister portrayed as this great guy everyman, people would throw bricks at the TV. I think that sums my feelings up perfectly. It’s obviously well-written and has great dialogue, but that sugary, sugary all’s-right-with-the-world view of The White House is just too much to take. Studio 60 is far better because it’s less saccharine-sentimental.
Yes, please send me Cape Wrath. That’s great; could have sworn you’d said you’d sold it after watching it. I’d been going to take The Take off you too, but Tesco’s have just sent me it off my rental list – damn them – so no point now. And yes, absolutely, I’d love Robin Hood too. I’ve seen the first 2-4 (can’t remember) episodes of this and it’s bloody awful, but I really like Keith Allen in it, plus I think I’d already spotted the Maid Marion thing. Not sure, but I know there was something in it I wanted more of, and I’ve been looking out for it cheap for a while so I can watch it through. So, yes please put that on my list too.
I’ll also take Mesrine 1 & 2 from you when you get them. Did you buy Hardy’s Wuthering Heights? If so, I’d like to see that too. I’ve only watched the on-line version we both saw and I’m not sure that was all of it. I’d like to see it again anyway, but I’m not paying good money for it!
I already own Prison Break 1 & 2 and, yes, Teabag is great. He’s in Carnivale too, by the way – don’t know if you’ve spotted that. I haven’t seen 2 yet, we only bought it recently. I might go back and watch series 1 first before I tackle it. But if you haven’t seen 2 you’re welcome to it after I’ve watched it.
I won’t send you any horror – or movies at all – until you’ve exhausted my TV collection – that’s obviously what you’re in the mood for. I know the feeling. I’ve just watched House 5 right through, and very good it was too. Have you seen House? If not I guarantee you will like it. I know it may not seem like your usual perversion fare of choice but House himself is so warped, plus there’s all the relationships that go on around him. Plus, it is just exceedingly well-written with some really interesting medical cases (honestly!).
So here’s the TV I have that I think you may not have seen/might like.
1) Weeds. I’ve got 1 – 3. Have you seen all these? I have a feeling you maybe have some?
2) Huff. Guarantee you’ll love this.
3) House – series 1 – 5. Great show. Very compulsive.
4) Dexter. Good weird-shit American show.
5) Big Love. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. This is my new favourite show. It’s underbelly America, which I love. When I first came across this I thought, no way. I will hate watching some scum bag screwing multiple wives. Even the idea is offensive. But I watched the trailer, thought it looked different, put it on my rental list, watched 2 episodes, cancelled the rest, and went out and bought the whole series immediately.
6) Medium. Very good Arquette series (I forget which Arquette – one of the girls). I’ve only got the first series so far, but I will be buying more.
7) Afterlife. This is British. I have the 2 series they made. Both leads characters are (very) annoying, but it is oddly off-beat and compelling. I’d been thinking of selling it and rewatched the first two episodes again to see if I wanted to keep it, found myself caught up and watched right through it again. It’s good, and very low-tech compared to US shows – in a good way.
9) The Riches. Another brilliant, brilliant show. If you haven’t seen this you’ll love it. It’s got Eddie Izzard, who I don’t really like in dramatic roles, although I like him as a comedian, and Minnie Driver, who I can’t stand, and they are both great. This is one of my favourite TV shows ever. You’ll love the gypsy villain in it; he’d make a great Heathcliff. Really recommend this one if you haven’t seen it.
I also have Smallville, Lost, stuff like that, but you may have seen/ not want to see those. I’ve listed all the main ones I-think-Jodie-should watch/would like. So tell me what you haven’t seen and I’ll put ‘em to one side for you. (I’ve already got Life earmarked for you – but I haven’t seen it yet. I’ll add it in as soon as I’ve watched it.)
No, there wasn’t a second series of Dirt. I believe they shot three episodes and that was all that was aired. I think it got cancelled because of the writer’s strike. I have a post on IMDB asking if anyone has a copy of the three episodes but so far no-one’s ever answered me, so I think we’re screwed on that one. The Riches also got cancelled (although there is a second series but, so far, only available in the US). Huff was the same. Still, they’re great shows and worth watching even although we never get closure.
Had a look for the Ian McShane WH and it’s only available as an NTSC in the US. I am sufficiently intrigued that I might buy it. If you still don’t have a multi-region player I can at least let you know if it’s worth seeing. It’s pretty old – 1967 – and old TV drama is seldom good, but he looks delicious in the photos.
Not seen anything great recently. I’m hoping to see Moon and The Hurt Locker over Xmas. Also saw a film on John Waters List of 2009′ Best Movies called The World’s Worst Dad (I think? ETA – Just checked it; it is in fact called World’s Greatest Dad) with Robin Williams. I watched the trailer on IMDB and it looks really good, so I’ve put that on my list.
Right, I’m done. Let me know which series you have/haven’t seen and I will prepare to thrill you…
P.S. I did NOT put a smiley face in this comment. For some reason WordPress has coverted
(has it just done it again? 8, followed by bracket, if it has) into a smiley. What the fuck…?
Well I liked it and I hope you continue.
Thank you, Nadia. It’s kind of you to take the time to say so. I don’t hear that often enough, and I appreciate it.
Hello
Hope you had a nice Christmas and New Year time.
I’m going to send you a handful of DVD’s, I’ll send Cape Wrath, there’s still something off with that program for me. I always watch it and think I don’t like it, then put it away and a few months later think, maybe I misjudged it and watch it again. I think I should like it but somethings not right. I’ll send that and I have got Wuthering Heights so I’ll send that. Although I thought bits were cut from the Internet version, they weren’t. I’ve decided my favourite version of Wuthering Heights is the Timothy Dalton version, but Lovejoy may beat it. Have you seen it now? I’ll also send Robin Hood, I think you’ll really like that relationship with Maid Marion. I want someone to have seen it, because its for children and 80% crap but there are some bits in it that are more interesting than in a lot of the better programs I’ve seen lately. Do you want me to send them all? I don’t need any of them back for ages, I’ve watched Cape Wrath again recently and Wuthering Heights, I’ve seen Robin Hood loads as well. But if you only want one or two of the aforementioned, let me know.
I’ve seen a lot of the first series of House and really liked it but I missed the rest because I moved and my channel 5 hasn’t worked since and I don’t have sky. I’d like to see it again from the start at some point. Can I have that on my list please?
I’ve never seen Weeds, I don’t know much about that one. If you think I’d like it I probably will.
Never seen Huff either. I think its the therapist one isn’t it?
Also never seen Dexter (this is getting embarrassing, I’ve seen nothing) but I think I’d really like that one, I’ve wanted to see it for ages.
Not seen any Big Love either, I’ve not even heard of this one. Again if you recommend put it on my list.
I have seen quite a lot of Medium, its on late at night so I watch it every now and then. Do you have all the series?
I have both series of Afterlife I really enjoyed that, I think Lesley Sharp is a very good actress with a strange face.
I’ve seen most of Ugly Betty but don’t have it on DVD, O do like this but I didn’t go to town over it when it came on, so I’ve missed some.
I really, really want to see the Riches. Can I please, please have this first? I’ve been wanting to see this for ages. I love Eddie Izzard as a comedian (by the way if you like any stand up I’ve got loads of that), he’s not been in many good drama’s, but I quite liked Kitchen, you might like that one if you haven’t seen it. He plays an alcoholic chef, and a skinny attractive Scottish boy is good in it as well. I have it if you want it at some point.
I have seen some of Lost, there’s bits in it that I really like. I think I’d like to watch it all at some point. I might buy the series, but my next purchase is going to be The O C. I’ve just bought the complete the Dawsons Creek and its got me onto teen drama again.
I saw Moon at the cinema, it was quite interesting but I’d probably only watch it once, Sam Rockwell is really good in it, but he always is. I haven’t really seen anything worth anything lately. I went to see Now Where Boy, which was OK, about John Lennon’s early life. I also saw a British comedy film that was absolutely shite, I can’t even remember what its called, I think it was from some people associated with The Mighty Boosh. It was crapola. I’m going to see Avatar this week. I’ll let you know what its like.
P.S. I didn’t miss the email about DANNY three for this year, I’m trying not to get over excited but… (yaaaay).
Hello Liebling,
Is this you just emerging from under your stone, or do you still not have a computer? I’m afraid you’ll have to salivate over The Riches for a while longer. I hadn’t heard from you and wanted to get The West Wing back to you so I sent you Big Love at the end of December. Don’t cry, I’ll get The Riches off to you next time. You’ll love Big Love anyway – I just knows it. Who couldn’t love Harry Dean Stanton with his fourteen year old bride and his dubious relationship with his daughter, and his oddly pervy fucked-up son and our poor hero on Viagra to get round all his wives? And that’s barely scraping the surface.
By all means send me as much as you want in a bundle. The only problem is you are only insured for £30 if the parcel is damaged/missing. I sent the West Wing and Big Love to you seperately so that they’d both be covered if anything happened to them. It was only 6p more. But if you don’t mind risking yours then knock yourself out. Or send them all at once but in seperate envelopes if you like – as long as you get proof of posting. That way you’re covered. Callous as I am, I don’t care what you do with yours as long as you get P.O.P for mine! And, of course, treat them like the sacred objects they are.
I just finished watching series 3 of Weeds. I love that show. I’ll get them all down to you in due course. Incidentally, if you start watching anything I send and think, “This is great, I’m buying it”, feel free to send it back straight away and I’ll send you something different instead. No need to watch right through them if you’re going to buy it. On the other hand, knowing you, you”d probably not be able to part with it until you saw it through.
I didn’t think I’d want to buy Lost either and hired the first 3 series out the library, but then I found I was desperate to see the new series. I got the opportunity to buy two of the series cheap in my library sale and jumped at the chance. Since then I’ve bought them all (when I see them cheap). They are oddly addictive and have some great characters and truly bizarre story lines. Ben is fabulous in it. I don’t know how far you’ve seen, but he’s the pop-eyed little runt that leads The Others. He’s like an uber-Ian in many ways – just down your street. There is, of course, also the brother/sister ‘incest’ storyline in series 1. We lose it unfortunately, but there’s lots of other goodies to make up for it.
Couldn’t get into Dawson’s Creeek at all. Far too wooden and pedestrian for me. And whatever you do, don’t buy One Tree Hill – that one nearly pushed me over the edge. But I’m a big OC fan. I own them all. As usual, the hero and heroine (Marissa & Ryan) are intensely annoying with their on again/off again romance, but all the subsidiary characters are great, particularly Seth and Julie Cooper. Delicious.
I’ve seen a couple of shows like The Hills that I’m wondering about. And the remake of 90210. But The Hills gets a staggering 3.5 stars on IMDB, which must be one of the lowest I’ve ever seen for a TV series, so I think they’ll both be hire first series. I don’t suppose you’ve ever seen either of them?
I wish you luck with Avatar. I have to say I don’t like the look of it at all. I’ve seen a short trailer and a long trailer, and while the long trailer looked more interesting, I found I couldn’t be bothered watching it through; all sweeping beasties and battles. All that CGI is a total turn-off to me, and I just can’t stomach ‘other world’ renderings. I’m not sure why we humans feel aliens have to be blue or green with big eyes. What’s with the big eyes? And don’t start me on strange flying creatures that we can ride like horses. I don’t know about you, but the idea of getting on a horse that’s only 4 feet off the ground is too much for me, without flying on one of the fuckers. I’m not its target audience, I suppose, but I really cannot warm to it.
Seen nothing good since I wrote to you last year (I’ve sent you an epic letter about my secret love affair – you’ll enjoy that) except for The Hurt Locker, which was quite good, although something about it didn’t quite cut it for me. Not yet sure what. Nearly forgot, I saw Blindness, with Julianne Moore, and that was pretty amazing. Definitely different. It doesn’t get as much praise as it should. I didn’t realise it, but it turns out to be directed by the same man who did City of God, which is quite possibily a masterpiece, if well-nigh unwatchable, it’s so painful. But I would recommend Blindness, if you haven’t seen it.
That’s about it. Oh, forgot to thank you for my Poison Pixie (and the great card). I have christened him Snot, on account of him resembling something between dead gangrened flesh and a lump of phlegm. He resides on the base of the lamp beside my bed/sofa, so that when we make the bed up at night he gets knocked down 5 times out of 10. We then have to go throguh the ritual of ‘looking for Snot’, which is a delight and keeps us amused for hours, generally at four in the morning.
So far he has been mistaken for an apple core – twice – a dead leaf, a piece of screwed-up paper and a “shrivelled dead thing I don’t want to touch”. So thank you, it was a well-chosen gift and has warmed my sad winter heart.
Hope you enjoy Big Love and looking forward to getting my goodies…….
Hello
I only got your package a day before I sent my next one off to you (I get what the link was now, I confused myself, I thought I must have forgot a conversation we had). I’ve sent two packages, West Wing series 2 (the dream liberal presidency is the way I look at that program as well, my Sheen love is a large part of my like of it though, if you don’t like him it would be harder to get into it, but as the program goes on I like Toby Ziegler most), the second package has Cape Wrath and Wuthering Heights in it (more of a disappointment on second viewing). Let me know if they’ve got got to you by now.
Dawson’s Creek is buried into my head from years of 4:00 after school, it’s a part of my brain, Pacey will always be a perfect man to me. As for OC I’ve seen a lot of them but I don’t think I’ve seen them all. I agreed about the main characters, its always the same with American teenage TV shows, the main characters are never the ones I care about. I couldn’t stand Marissa, the whiny little rich girl, and she made Ryan pathetic and annoying. I loved Seth and Summer, and Julie Cooper was amazing. I also loved when Ryan got with Taylor in the last series, she turned into one of my favourite characters. It’s the same as Gossip Girl, Serena and Dan weren’t interesting, it was Chuck and Blaire I cared about. Luckily they became the main couple in series 2. (I have both series of Gossip Girl if you want to borrow them at any point). It’s the same with Dawson’s Creek actually, I could never stand Dawson and never thought his relationship with Joey, who was referred to as his soul mate through the whole thing, was believable in the slightest.
Is the Hills the one that’s about real life people? If it is a few of my friends love it but I’ve not seen enough of it to get into it. 90210 is kind of like Robin Hood, in that most of it is crap and the main people aren’t interesting but one of the girls and one of the boys have a really interesting relationship. I’ve not seen very much of this either though.
I went to see Avatar today, it was good. The main character was likable and it looked amazing, it didn’t set me on fire though. I’d watch it again but I’m in no rush to own it. I agree, I’ve never been interested in the actual flying, running about in trees aspect of adventure films, I don’t even like flying in a plane, and any kind of fast movement makes me vomit. Wouldn’t really work if it was me on the back of something flying through the air, leaving a trail of sick behind me. I think some people get wish fulfilment from that stuff but that’s not what I like it for. I like the black and whiteness of it, the good versus evil. My favourite films/books in the world are the ones that live in the grey area (as you know), the ones that show that in real life there is nothing clear cut, no one is good or evil, it all depends on circumstances and what happens to a person in their life. I love stories that reflect reality in all is nastiness and truth, where the heroes aren’t heroic if you actually look at them and the villains are destroyed human beings, they’re the ones that stick with me. But for a quick fix of entertainment, where I don’t have to think, I love adventure films for their good side and their bad side, and the hope in them that you don’t really get in real life.
I’m not started on Big Love yet, a few more weeks on my Christmas stuff I’ve got to get through and I’ll be right on it. Let me know what you think of Cape Wrath, I can never be anything but undecided on that and you always seem to clarify what is missing in something.
P.S. Am I in a dream like state or did your new blog confirm that DANNY 3 is back on for this year?
P.P.S. I don’t have a proper computer still, I am fucking awful with money and can’t save for my life, I need to buy a new one. When I do I will permanently be out from under my technologically lacking stone.
Hi Jodie, Yep, all the discs arrived safely, thanks.
We, too, are watching Xmas DVDs still – Prison Break 2, to be exact. Going to watch Cape Wrath next, so I’ll let you know what I think of it.
Couldn’t get into Dawson’s Creek. Tried the first series, but gave up. Mr Wooden Jaw was too much of a turn off. Or, to be precise, it was that self-satified tone that a lot of American TV has when it presents you with some guy who is supposedly “rugged”, has a jaw that would cut plate glass, and the personality of a scone, but possibly with less intellect, and expects you to swoon like a love-sick teen. I’m not sure why I find that ineffable smugness (‘we know what you women like’) so offensive, but it is. Hate being pandered to.
Glad to hear you liked Avatar, that gives me at least a little hope it might have some redeeming features amidst the blue bodies and strange creatures. Watched the new Transormers the other night (Revenge of the Fallen?) and gave up after half an hour – something we VERY rarely do. In fariness we had just watched Steel Trap on fast forward before it – a cheap B-movie horror, which was boring and plain bad – hence the fast forward. I suppose our tolerance threshhold was low, but, God, Transformers was all shiny metal for ten minutes, then humans for ten, then shiny metal, then…. You never got a chance to get involved, always supposing there was anything to be nvolved with, so we gave up.
Also saw Terminator Salvation, which was better than the last Terminator, but not a stand-out like 2, which is the best Terminator. Also watched the new(est?) Harry Potter – Half-blood Prince. Now THAT was a weird experience. It was really slooooooooooooow. Rather like a French art movie, in that it was all this kind of relationship study stuff. But it had a kind of hypnotic quality, and it looked beautiful. Faultless, in fact. But I don’t know what kids make of its plot, such as it is. It went along at a snail’s pace, with shots held too long and stuff in that didn’t really seem to have any great dynamism or point (a dead spider funeral apropos of nothing, for example). It was also very long. How young kids sit through it in the cinema, I don’t know. But I did kind of like it, not quite sure why, other than that odd sepia beauty it had, along with a very nice otherworldliness. None of the other films have ever really had that. If it doesn’t sound too weird, it was very relaxed, not trying too hard to be hip, young and proving itself. But it kind of went too far the other way, running out of wind and getting wandery.
Not seen anything good at all recently. Watched Catherine Breillat’s Romance. I’m not strictly a fan of Breillat, although she’s never dull in a pedestrian sense. But God, that woman is a misogynist. I like to think she’s trying to make a point with her misogyny, but I can’t help feeling the men get off awful lightly in her movies, in spite of her supposedly being a feminist, and that’s it’s really women she doesn’t like. And God only knows why there was so much fussing about the sex in it. There’s hardly any cock, contrary to what you might have heard. There’s far more cunt on show, and everything feels slightly coy and rationed, like she didn’t want to overdo it. I kept shouting at the TV, “If he doesn’t want to shag you, will you just LEAVE!?” But the French always like to make a meal of their turgid middle class relationship movies. Does my head in.
Yes, I am doing volume/s 3 this year, if it kills me. And that’s an end to it. If I could get 4 out as well, I’d do it. Want rid of the fucker, want to move on. As for your computer, I’d think you could get one under £100 on e-bay, if you weren’t too fussy. Or is even £100 too much hard work? You’re talking to the expert on not saving; I’ll be spending my retirement eating porridge in an old-folk’s home in Scunthorpe.
P.S. Kept meaning to tell/ask you, have you seen that they’re making Thompson’s The Killer Inside Me with Casey Affleck? When I saw that I thought, Wahey! But it’s bloody Michael bloody Winterbottom that’s making it. Really don’t like that man’s work – he’s like some bastard conglomerate of bad Hollywood with bad BBC and a little Fred Boring of Bristol thrown in. I’ll watch it, just to see Thomson’s work with Affleck, but if it’s crap Winterbottom is going on the banned list with Lars von Trier (Saw Winterbottom’s Genova a few days ago – bloody awful ITV in Italy murder mystery without a murder. Bilge.)
Hello
I have watched Big Love, I liked it but not as much as Dirt. I liked that I had no idea what was going to happen all the way through it, and at first I didn’t like Nicki but she ended up being my favourite. Was that the only series, I can’t remember if you said it was.
I actually like the Harry Potter’s, if you ignore that most of the children could never act, (Except the ginger boy and the blonde boy whose the baddie), I enjoyed the last one but I’ve only seen it once and it was a while ago, I’ll have to have another look at it, I remember it being really dark and atmospheric. I’m a big Alan Rickman fan, I think he’s very sexy (and he’s more than twelve years old, I’m reforming my ways).
I’ve never heard of Catherine Breillat, I’ve just had a quick look on imdb but I don’t think I’ve seen anything of hers. Romance looks interesting though, I think I’d like that. I’ve got Mesrine now, both parts, so I’ll send that up next if you want it. Also I think you might like a film called Interview, if you haven’t seen it. It’s got Sienna Miller in but she’d good in it and Steve Buscemi, it’s just those two in the film. She’s an actress in trashy films and he’s a war correspondent who thinks she’d pointless, they play each other off through the film, trying to get the upper hand. I really like it. They have a weird sexual chemistry, there’s a strange sense of incest between them.
I’ve been to see Nine the other day, it wasn’t very good, Daniel Day Lewis really gets on my nerves sometimes, he can be really really good in something (Ballad of Jack and Rose for example), but there’s an unlikable quality about him. He was whiney and pathetic in Nine, his character went on about how stressed he was, and how hard his life is making films, and he shat on all the women in his life and constantly cried for his mother to come back. The only good things in it were Marian Cotillard and two of the songs. There were only about 3 in the whole two and a half hour film, the rest was filled up with his pointless search for an idea. I adore Marian Cotillard, the song she did about him cheating on her was the best thing in the whole film, the other was an aggressively sexy song by Fergie, she really suited what she played.
I should be getting a computer in the next two weeks, someone I know is getting a new one so I’m going to have their old one, so I wont have to scrounge for ten minutes when someones not using theirs.
I saw The Killer Inside me was coming out soon, I think Affleck will be really interesting in it but I’ve only seen a few Michael Winterbottom things, and they’ve been hit and miss with me. I liked Cock and Bull Story and Jude of the ones I’ve seen. I hope they do it justice, I think it’s going to be hard to show his decent into madness, especially as the glimpses of it are so subtle to the people around him, up until the end, Casey Affleck’s going to have to be really good.
P.S. I have been reading a lot of DANNY recently and I realised I’ve never asked one of the important questions. What happened in the hayloft? Ha I know your not going to answer that in the slightest, but I have absolutely no idea , they all tell so many different stories about it. Usually I have some idea, even if it’s wrong about their lies, but I don’t have a clue about that one.
Awww, my turn to be disappointed. I thought it would really be your thing. I’m not sure why I find it so satisfying, but I do. It’s complex and sophisticated and horribly dysfunctional. That last bit is the most important. Nikki (spelling?) is a nightmare. She has to be one of the most unsympathetic women on TV. Sevigny deserves credit for playing someone so dislikable. My favourites are Alby (spelling again – need to look thse up) and his dad (Harry is great), and Bill’s mother is a great old bitch. But I just like the whole setting. I’d never have believed it. The series is still running, to my knowledge. I think it’s currently on Season 3.
I’m just finishing up Season 2 of Prison Break. Really enjoyed it, but altogether too many people die, including most of my favourite characters. Also watching Burn Notice, which I got out my local library. It’s quite good, but a bit surface glossy so far. Also saw the first few episodes of Dollhouse. I kind of liked it and have left it on my list so I can see another few, see what I think. It’s a great plot idea, but not quite great in its execution.
I’ve just got Desperate Romantics on hire from Love Film. Did you see that when it was on TV? It looks interesting, but I’ll see how it goes. So I’m TV’d up to the eyeballs just now. Once I get this lot out the way I’m watching Cape Wrath.
As soon as I get Big Love back I’ll send you down The Riches. You’ll like that. Be sure to watch out for the Gypsy ‘king’. He’s good stuff in a great series.
Saw Transporter 3, which was okay. I wish someone would give Statham something good to do. I’d love to see him actually act, as opposed to scowl and strip. Whereas he is good at both – and I like nothing more than seeing him naked – I wish he’d get just a little cerebral/emotional. Can’t be doing with wooden mannequin men – I’ll never see the attraction in them.
Also saw The Secret Life of Bees (is that right? I have a feeling it might not be…[jut looked it up, it's right]) with Dakota Fanning and Queen Latifah. It was nice enough, but the only thing of real interest in it was Paul Bettany. There’s another actor no-one seems to use properly. I LOVE watching that man on screen, in anything. He’s so fragile and cold and fiery and passionate and fragile again. He can stride though anything from delicate sensitive soul to callous serial killer with no real Gary Oldman style theatrics to back it up. Do people realise just how great that is? Plus I love the way he looks. There’s something so creature-from-under-a-stone about him. He’s in the new one about angels – Legion – and I’m just itching to see it. Please God, they are going to do something dramatic with him and really throw him out there. Fingers crossed.
Breillat is an odd director. Considered awfully controversial – and she is, since everybody freaks out about her movies – she’s also considered a feminist and I’m just not sure about that. I’ve only seen three of her movies (I’ve got Anatomy of Hell on my list), and not really liked any of them, although they were all unusual and worth a watch. Like I said before, I can’t help feeling she might really be a misogynist rather than a feminist. Her men never really come off that badly. Althoguh they may be shown to be bastards, they are still objects of love and adoration, but the women are stupid and whiny and occasionally spoilt/destructive/downright unpleasant. That may well be the way she shows her feminism – look at the stupid women taking shit off men – but it never FEELS like that to me. She makes me think of those women we’ve all worked with (and my own mother) who kind of look down on other women and don’t really sympathise with why they may be ‘stupid’, just despise them for being it, while the men – although she admits their faults – really somehow get a ‘get out of jail free’ card. She’s a real dilemma for me.
No, don’t fancy Nine myself. Don’t like the film it’s based on, and don’t like all that self-indulgent Italian macho. I think maybe Day Lewis is a bit too good as an actor and when he does a dickhead he’s just too convincing as a dickhead. It’s maybe a sign of a true egoless actor – he resists the urge to give his character attractive quirks, just plays him as a cunt!
Glad to hear you’re getting a new computer. It’ll stop this message in a bottle style of comunication – I hope.
Lastly, the hayloft. Ah, the hayloft… Well, you should be sufficiently expert by now (I’m thinking of getting you to write The Idiot’s Guide to DANNNY – I reckon you know it better than me) to realise that the more confusion and conflicting stories about something there are, the more important the event is likely to be. This means, of course, that I cannot tell you anything about the hayloft, except give you the bad news that I don’t beleive it’s ever really fully resolved. I haven’t read the 3′s in a while, but I recall that there are further versions of the hayloft in them, and I think by the time you’ve read some of the more confessional retellings of it that get done in the road movie half you get a better idea of what’s actually happened. I’d say you can piece it together eventually, but it’s not pretty.
You’ll be glad to know I’ve finished the V1 ‘more commas edition’ so we’re just doing covers now (hundreds of the fuckers – struggling to get Dark Fairytale just right. You can look forward to seeing a wodge of those some day soon). But I am about to plunge back into the 3′s, ready for the big release. Really hoping to get them both done this year, so 2010 should be a year of bounty for the fans, plenty of new stuff to get your collective teeth into.
Oh, almost forgot, yes please, I’d like to see Mesrine 1 & 2 when the next batch comes down. Be a while though if I don’t stop hiring bloody TV…
Chance,
I think you really nailed it on your description of Breillat. I think that is why i really love her work, it speaks to my dislike of stupid women, while at the same time asserting that it could be different if they just woke the hell up. i surely am much more sympathetic towards men, though i hope not to the “get a free pass” stage. (must explore that further..)
i will be very interested on your take of Anatomy of Hell. I think Rocco can actually act, who knew?
xo
p
Well, you kind of prove my point that Breillat might be more of a misogynist than a feminist, ZS. By your own admission you think women are all “bitches and whores” and men are great because you find them sexually attractive. Breillat certainly seems to think the same way. She is obviously your soul-mate.
P.S. Rocco acting? No disrespect to the man, who was fine in the role, such as it was – he had nothing more to do than look pouty and aloof – but it was only acting if you consider never really doing or saying anything acting…
while women may be bitches and whore, that may not be ALL they are.
And i guess having seen a few of Rocco’s other movies, his role in this one was so different i can only speculate that he was actually acting. i related to him and his fear/dilemna. maybe you have no sympathy for men then at all? clearly we are on different planes in that sky.
and it is not that men are sexually attractive that makes them great. it is that in their interactions with me (not so much with each other) they are honest, simple, and easy to relate to. not all men, of course, but the kind of men i like – smart, funny, curious, even brilliant – not necessarily hot, but i wouldn’t take points away for that.
now if you want to talk about lovers, that’s an entirely different issue.
What do you think Rocco’s fear/dilemma was, exactly?
As for my own sympathies, I don’t see how you can have a generalised sympathy for a whole group of people unless it’s for a specific event, as in, I feel sorry for the Jews experiencing the Holocaust. Unlike you, I don’t believe all women are this…, all men are that. Real life doesn’t back that one up.
Regarding your “interactions” with men, the ones that you like – “smart, funny, curious, even brillaint” – have enabled you to positively colour your view of men in general, even although a lot of men are stupid, dull, rigid and far from “brilliant”. Some are even violent, belligerent, sexist, bullying and cruel. But somehow that doesn’t impinge on your overall opinion. I am to take it, therefore, that you have never met any “smart, funny, curious, even brillaint” women. Or if you have, they somehow don’t get to pass this on to other women and so let them off the hook from being “whores and bitches”. Why do you give men this advantage, but not women? If the great men absolve the bad ones, why do great women not absolve the “whores and bitches”?
This black and white thinking of yours seems to pervade your whole life: it’s okay to be sexist because some women have been bad to you. It’s okay to be racist because you’ve experienced racism. I hope you are never in a position of power, because your elastic – and self-serving – morality leaves a lot to be desired.
chance, even the “good” women i’ve meet are still bitches and whores. perhaps one of the key elements to them being smart is that they KNOW that. we are all trained to be prostitutes, to bargain ourselves for position, to use our allure to get things. and any assertive woman has surely been called a bitch. i would even suspect you have been in both these categories.
the “bad” men you describe i don’t even really consider men. but that’s interesting, cause i never noticed that before. i have somehow generalized them to some subcategory that means i don’t deal with them at all whenever possible.
and don’t fool yourself, all morality is self-serving.
“we are all trained to be prostitutes, to bargain ourselves for position, to use our allure to get things” By ‘we’ do you mean women? If so, I doubt it’s true. It may have been your personal experience, but the rest of the world hasn’t lived your life. And just as an aside, that’s yet another example of black & white thinking: it happened to me so it must be true for everyone.
Women as a sex are often encouraged, even expected, to ‘sell’ themselves in one way or another, but a lot of women simply do not and will not do it. If women did these things because of some kind of ancient gender biology nothing would ever have changed; we’d still be being bartered for chickens and married off to the highest bidder.
Also, I have to say, I am neither a bitch nor a whore, so you’ve met at least one woman who isn’t. I sincerely doubt I’m the only woman on the planet who won’t bitch or whore so there are more of us out there. But none of this changes the fact that your resentment and anger against your female relatives is determined to take everything in the world out on women. Do you really sincerely believe women are responsible for all the evil in the world just becasue you had bad role models? If so, how did they pull that stunt off, with no power and no rights, for thousands of years? Your experiences of women are no different from mine, in that I had a ‘bad’ mother, but I don’t believe for one instant that this means all women are evil. Generalising doesn’t help the world to change, it just lets you stay comfy in your blame rut. And, I might point out, following your mother in her example by treating all the women you meet with the same disrespect she gave you just makes you your mother. She has succeeded in making you as nasty as her – do you really want to give her that victory?
All morality may be self-serving to you, but not to me. My morality has time without number led me to incur terrible losses, including my livelihood, my family and my peace of mind. I fail to see anything self-serving about that. In fact, I have an ongoing fight in not considering myself sublimely stupid for having my principles in the first place because my morality is so little valued by others. Likewise, people who die or suffer for others cannot be truly self-serving.
I can appreciate the sentiment behind your statement, because many of us may adhere to our morals in order to live with ourselves, but there is a greater principle at stake often, and that is not wholly self-serving. In short, although the people who sheltered Anne Frank may have been self-serving in that they felt good about themselves for their kind act, their risk was very real and truly dangerous so it is not entirely self-serving. They rose above their own self-interest.
Ask yourself, why do you indulge in this rigid thinking? Does it make you feel secure to assert prejudicial statements about humanity, or does it just make you feel justified in keeping your prejudices alive so that you don’t have to change your behaviour?
yes, i mean women. and guess what? we are still being bargained for chickens and married off to the highest bidder, perhaps the only difference is it is the women themselves who negotiate the contract. all human relations are negotiated to some degree, and there is some exchange.
your view of morality employs an escape clause that i don’t acknowledge, that if the outcome is “good” then the driving force must be good. not necessarily. there are also bad acts that lead to “good” results, too. but then, bad and good can also be very subjective. perhaps it is not that i think in black and white so much as i live in the grey, where nothing is definite, motives are unclear, and caution is necessary.
and again you misunderstand me, or perhaps i am not saying enough. i do not believe all women are evil. i don’t even really believe in evil. i do, however, feel that humans are BOTH good and bad, or more accurately that good and bad are made up categories and we feel compelled to put things in one or the other box. this is too simplistic. humans are not evil, humans are not good. humans are just more capable beasts, but beasts all the same.
i just have more trouble communicating with women, because i like clear communication, not the sort of “guess what i’m thinking” modality that a lot of women i’ve encountered employ.
just tell me, dagnabit.
If you genuinely lived in the grey you would not make sweeping statements about sexes or races. Living in the grey is the antithesis of that kind of thinking.
My view of morality has no “escape clause” and is not based on the outcome, it is rooted strictly in the morality of someone’s actions, not whether they turn out well. I have sympathy for many murderers, including many serial killers, because their view of right and wrong, and their view of life and morality, has often been skewed by the lives they’ve had to endure. If I based my morality on results and outcomes there would be no possibility of having sympathy for a serial killer who seldom even know their victims and who usually cause untold misery to virtually everyone they meet.
And when it comes to “clear communication” you have had a unique experience with the sexes because it is scientifically recognised that men are not encouraged to be communicative or discuss their feelings. They are also often encouraged to lie and see this as an acceptable, even considerate, behaviour in relationships. I have met a lot of men – and whole books have been written about them – that expect women to cater to their every whim without telling anyone what that whim is. My own father – and all his brothers, 6 of them – all expected their wives and children to anticipate their moods, take care of their emotional well-being and know what they wanted and needed without being told.
My experience is by no means unique and I think you will find, both psychologically and statistically, that poor communication is much more of a male trait than a female one.
I’m guessing you had a narcissistic mother (and dad sounds pretty much the same) and a key characteristic of them is to have a constant agenda of you having to take care of them. They also lie about who they really are (arguably they don’t actually know) and are so busy living up to their idea of themselves that who they are bears little resemblance to them in real life, especially as experienced by their chief carers, often their children. But the fact remains that your mother was/may have been a narcissist and that behaviour was nothing to do with her sex. Her flaws therefore are not ones of femaleness but of narcissism. They may have come out slightly different from your father’s because we are all warped by our gender roles, but essentially, you are still judging being a woman on the strength of your mother – and she simply is not a good role model, or example.
maybe i am judging being a woman on the lack of strength of my mother and being a man on what i would ideally like a man to be, which includes aspects of both parents that just weren’t there – nurturing, inspiring, supportive. i got more support from my bra than my parents, for sure, even joked about it like that in high school.
and for whatever reason, i still prefer the company of men. maybe i am like your father and brothers, and expect to be catered to.
maybe i am a narcissist myself. no doubt my mother is. when my dad died, she kept saying, “why did this happen to me?”
whatever.
did you ever gain resolution with your parents, chance? if so, what do you consider the key elements of that resolution?
A lot depends on your definintion of resolution. I wrote to my father in my mid-twenties and told him I didn’t want to have any more contact with him. I gave no particular reason and he never bothered to find out why I did it. After I left home (at 18) he had fallen out with me (for leaving university) and had no further use for me anyway, and only ‘made up’ with me (at my approach, notably) briefly while he was divorcing my mother, as he needed an ally in court. I, foolishly, provided that, although I’ve never really regretted it as it was part of a necessary learning curve.
My mother ‘tried’, many years later, at the death of partner’s parents, to communicate with me again (I had severed relations with her at the same time, in my twenties). We wrote to each other briefly, and I visited her once for a day. A few years down the line from that (only 3 years ago or so), I wrote to all my family individually, detailing the things I considered wrong with my childhood and dishing out blame without compunction as part of a ‘healing’ exercise. It was, perversely, motivated by a fear that my father would die before I could tell him how I felt and I would have to carry it forever.
Needless to say, I never heard anything from any of them, and don’t expect I ever will again. At that point my younger brother, who had not been talking to me (although he will maintain it was I not talking to him), also severed relations formally, preferring to keep his parents rather than me – which does, kind of, prove that the non-communication was coming from him. We had never fallen out, and I had always been exceptionally fond of him, but he just couldn’t bear to lose what little he had of his parents (he doesn’t have a good relationship with them either), and he saw it as an either/or thing. I loved my brother, but have to be honest and say no part of me wants what he would bring in my life. He has been very unlucky in that he has chosen to carry them with him. I don’t envy him at all and find him painful to think about because I was unable to save him.
I got resolution in that I finally told my parents what I thought of them, but, paradoxically, I often regret it. Not becuase I want to be friends with them – I don’t, I never really have since growing up – but because somehow it’s always felt wrong to me. I don’t know if this wrongness stems from guilt over being a ‘bad’ daughter and ‘hurting’ them – in other words it’s old conditioning – or whether it’s from a more level-headed realisation that they could only parent the way they could with who they were – and they were damaged people.
But, all that said, I have had ‘resolution’ for a long time, if we are talking in terms of coming to terms with my family. I’m a little unusual in that I realised when I was a child that my parents were badly off-course. I was only in my twenties when I first dumped them, and by the time I was in my early thirties I no longer had any pining whatsoever for a ‘normal’ family or for parental love.
I know it has taken its toll and that I have a lot of problems with their emotional legacy, but I still consider it either luck or character that I was able to let go of the need to be loved by my parents. Some (most?) people who have been badly hurt never seem to manage that and hang on grimly to people who torture them.
my story is very different.
I was brought up in a spanish-speaking household, didn’t speak english when i started school at age 4, spoke it by age 5. as the oldest, i was many times a liaison between worlds. corrupted parental/child relationship, too much responsibility. i was as a loss for mentors and guidance, still am.
learned my way through trial and error. mom freaked out when started to develop, times were very tough. she did a lot to sabotage me. i hated her, but still did not understand that i did not have to put up with her abuse. i was 18 when i figured that out. maybe that is why 18 is the adult age? i dunno
moved out of the house while she screamed “don’t ever come back” to which i thought, but did not say, why the fuck would i? big problem was, my siblings, especially my sister, still depended on me. my sister, age 9 at the time, was badly affected by my leaving her “behind”. too late i realized her pain. merged her back into my life, but she ended up in her own trouble anyway, and disconnected for many years. i have 2 brothers also, but they were old enough to deal on their own.
my mama calmed down after a while, i guess realized i wasn’t coming back. but she still acted up when we spent time together. i tolerated her, but the last straw was i was in the hospital, she came to visit me, and told me to “stop faking it”. her inability to see outside herself shocked me to the point that i began cutting her off. we didn’t speak for 3 monhts. after that if she even started to act up, i’d cut her off. she learned. she does not act up hardly at all anymore, and when she does she apologizes. never thought it would happen, but it did. she may have guessed that i don’t NEED her, and definitely not her abuse. good for her, i say. and she loves my husband, treats him like a son. he was very comforting to her when my father died. he is a good guy. he will not tolerate her saying stupid stuff to me, and she knows that. she has to behave or be cut off from both of us. hehehe so overall, yah, some bumpiness, but we landed on solid ground. she is crazy, and i give her a buffer zone around that, but nothing that tramples on me. that seems to work well at least now.
as for my dad, i would never say we got close, but we regularly would visit them, spend time with them, and always leave with hugs and good wishes. i have a philosophy that it’s best to treat people well every time you see them, cause you may never see them again. this has served me well, as when i think about the last time i saw anyone, especially those that died suddenly, i am happy with my last memory of them.
but like you, i feel that my resolution was within me. my mama has gone as far as admitting her mistakes, and even understanding why she made them, but by that time i had already forgiven her. not for what she did to me, but for being human and flawed and not ever gonna be perfect. i knew that keeping my relationship with her in a good place involved me setting and keeping proper boundaries. i was lucky that she accepted that and actually moved the pebble forward, despite her own pain and discomfort. on some level, i think she fears alienating everyone and dying alone. we all grew up to be self-sufficient, none of us really NEEDS her. we have a choice.
maybe that is the key to an abusive relationship, that the abused somehow believes they NEED the abuser, even if it’s just to “stay alive, since he would hunt me down and kill me if i leave”.
something to think about.
I think it’s great that you’ve managed to reach a compromise with your mother. You are lucky that she has managed to admit mistakes and apologise. Lots of people never get that. But all this understanding you’ve achieved with her does make me wonder why you still hold such bad atitudes towards women. (Or good ones towards men, for that matter. Dad certainly never did you any favours.)
My relationship with both my parents was far worse than yours but I don’t have this sex bias you have. Unless, of course, you are (unintentionally) fibbing and glossing over your life somewhat………..?
I know i’m lucky, i have seen many instances where the parents never admits their sins, and the kids carry it forever as a burden. but don’t think that she is fixed now. she can be challenging. however, that’s when i just hang up or leave. respect me or see you later.
my sex bias is perhaps a result of my experience getting more of what i wanted from males than females. females always seemed to want to take from me, or use me to get something from the men i knew. just shitty experiences with women. i suspect that as a fat, minority woman, some women simply assumed i would be a beta to their alpha, and that just didn’t happen.
It’s odd, though, you must admit, that you dislike women so much when you have patched things up with your mother, have a status quo and good boundaries, and yet, here am I, with a mother who does not now, or never has loved me – or even cared – and with whom I have no relationship whatsoever, and yet I have no blanket hatred or fear of them (women, not mothers!), nor no bias either for or against them.
Perhaps this relationship with your mother (and the men in your life) is not as soundly based as you like to think…….
maybe. or maybe your negative feelings are spread out evenly across the sexes.
maybe i always hoped for a mentor, and found the approximation of that more closely with men. i haven’t found any women that model how i’d like to be, know what i mean?
i would love to chat with you sometime, as there are elements of this discussion that i cannot say in public or even in email on a shared computer.
I’m not entirely sure I HAVE negative feelings but I know what you mean. I don’t do on-line chat anywhere private – wouldn’t know how to – and my e-mail is sacrosanct. You can e-mail me at poisonpixieltd@btinternet.com, those just get forwarded to me if you mark them for my attention; they’re completely confidential. Otherwise Facebook? I think that can be private-ish?
If you post anything there let me know – I never look at it. Someone else tends to it for me.
that’s not the problem, hon. it’s that any return email will have information from my original, which would be too revealing. i am already saying too much. sorry, guess it will stay with me, though i think it would have been interesting to share experiences.
xo
I’m assuming you mean they will go back to your work? Shame on you, playing on the computer at work.
What WOULD you do without your secret lives?
No. *sigh* my husband reads my email. ok, now delete this as soon as you read it in case he followed me here.
Dear God, your husband reads your e-mail? How liberated are you right now? And no, sorry, won’t delete it. Not taking part in drama games. If you’re that far into the Middle Ages you should stop talking. You know, just in case he puts you in a Scold’s Bridle.
i regret telling you now.
You’re STILL talking.
no i’m not. you are.
btw, i think i know why i am triggering you. i am much more like your ex than you, perhaps.
The only things that ‘trigger’ me are dentists, water and loss of control. But the stopping talking part is easy. Look……
sure. running away is easy.
That was weird (the above), who knew a Russian spy would show up here.
I’ve been at Jills for the last week, and guess what, her computer is broke. Won’t even turn on. We have excellent luck with computers. Sorry I haven’t returned Big Love, I’ve got them all packaged up but I left them at my house and have only got back today. I’ll send them up tomorrow. Have you watched Cape Wrath yet?
I did like Big Love, just wasn’t head over heals with it. I really liked the mother, I forgot about her, she was my favourite part. I did really like Nikki though, I liked that she was really nasty to the whole family but when someone was attacking them she always stepped in and stuck up for them. I didn’t like her at all unill the part where she stood up for herself infront of Alby.
What’s Dollhouse about, I was flicking though Jill’s sky and saw it, it looked interesting. I love series 2 of Prison Break, but mostly for T Bags storyline. I think the first series worked better, the story was interesting and it had loads of great twists. I think the plot got a bit ridiculous with the goverment conspiracy in series 2, there were still a few good twists but it was a bit out there. The thing I love about series 2 is how they depict T Bag. I feel like your supposed to sypathise with him and he’s a peadophile, I love that that’s a part of a mainstream American show. I liked him anyway in series 1, he’s really charasmatic and attractive, but in series 2, you see him being really evil and really vunerable. It’s such a complex character and its acted to perfection. He never gives up. The bit where he says he will not flatten to the psychiatrist, and to the vet when he says he needs to put him out to operate, ‘I ain’t nobody’. Love it.
I’ve got Desperate Romantics on my wish list on Amazon, I keep going to buy it but changing my mind. Tell me what it’s like. I went to see Invictus the other day (it was ok) and I saw an advert for Legion, it looks really good. I can watch just about anything with mythology in, I’m not in one way relgious but I find it so interesting. There’s a few things coming out that look worth watch. I’m seeing Wolfman tomorrow, I’m really excited about that, I think it’s going to be excellent. Also the Crazies looks good, I’ve been told it’s a remake. There’s another one but I can’t remember what it is. I am broadening my horror horizens.
I actually think you may be right about Daniel Day Lewis, I can’t think of a film in which he hasn’t played the character perfectly. He does tear my heart out in The Ballad of Jack and Rose, he’s terrific in There will be blood, he’s really believeable in My Beautiful Laundrette as well, I think that film falls down though, because the other actor clearly doesn’t want to be there. Day Lewis gives it his all in everything, so maybe when he plays a cock, you really see a cock.
Let me know what you think of the stuff I sent up, I do get obssessed with people watching my DVD’s, I love lending it out and hearing what people think.
P.S. Can’t wait to see te covers. I’m off to read Satyricon.
P.P.S. I haven’t spell checked again.
Hello, rare and elusive Jodie Bird. So, lucky old Jill, eh? First you move in, then you destroy any remaining technology in her house that actually works. Have you ever thought of offering your services to the Russians and then counter-offering to the Americans? I reckon as a secret weapon you could get quite a high value on the open market. NASA could use you to bring down all The Enemies Of The Free World’s satellites and telecommunications. Chaos would rule. I’m telling you, girl, it’s your destiny.
Don’t worry, you’re not alone on the not mailing thing. I’ve had Cape Wrath/ WH sitting a week waiting to go back to you. I am packing it tonight and posting it tomorrow, even supposing you destroy Royal Mail’s computerised system and I have to send it by pigeon.
I enjoyed Cape Wrath. Max didn’t like it so much, but I absolutely LOVED the doctor with his mad, irrational obsession, and Morrisey’s wife was equally good – they were very well-matched. Hardy was fine in it, but there was the mumbling/bumbling shit again. It’s really beginning to annoy me. If he actually does Mad Max I can’t begin to imagine him mumbling and bumbling that. He’s a very pretty boy, no dispute, sufficiently imperfect (those dodgy teeth) to make him interesting, he can act, he can cry, he has a nice voice (but poor bloody diction); I could go on all day, but everything seems to be repeating through him. To use the men of the current discussion, you’d never see Day Lewis or Bettany repeating quite the same way. I have a horrible feeling he isn’t going to go any further, what we see now is the Hardy we’ll always have. That’s sad. But yes, I enjoyed Cape Wrath. I also loved the fat girl and her mother and the weird affair with Mark the autistic-for-four-minutes-until-we-change-the-script son. I can see why you and Max both have reservations, it’s definitely forced in places, trying too hard to be weird (not effortlessly weird like Funland), and the mind control sci-fi plot line was just pushing the boundaries, and not in a good way. It felt like they’d got halfway through then thought, “Hey, we’ll be Joss Wheedon”. I do wish the British wouldn’t do this; they’re so banal at it. It’s like Survivors Versus Lost; I don’t think so.
I agree wholeheartedly about Prison Break 2 and the T-bag storyline, except for the cut-my-hand-off-sew-it-back-on-now-I-have-to-kill-you storyline. Dear God, what were they THINKING? After the shock and trauma, and the blood loss, the vet could have taken him by hitting him with a pastry brush. And yet somehow T-bag gets him tied to a table and kills him? I don’t think so. A rabbid rabbit could have made short work of him. But what about William Fichtner? Don’t tell me you’re not a Fichtner fan? God, I love that man, and the demented cop who went from fragile to lunatic in a blink was ace material for him. He was a joy to watch, and they killed the fucker off. And the young boy – I’ll never forgive them for that. David, I think he was, got the shittiest deal I’ve ever seen in the series and then he gets shot? Mother of God, that’s cruel and unusual punishment. But the show can be remarkably cavalier with people. And just as an afterthought, I detest the bloody women in that series – awful.
And here’s another surprise, I actually enjoyed Wuthering Heights second time round. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a pile of horse crap, but I enjoyed watching it and actually found some things quite enjoyable. Hardy’s wig was still bloody awful and a positive handicap, and the Cathy-doll? – no, no, NO. But hell, it was fun. I reckon it’s because I had absolutely zero expectations this time and sort of watched it as a speed-reading of WH, with added Hollywood nonsense. I confess I DO like Andrew Lincoln in this, playing Linton With Balls. It’s rather fetching, if completely wrong.
Desperate Romantics. No, not good. I might be at an advantage/disadvantage, but I know a bit about the Pre-Raphaelites, and the accuracy of this is nil. I wasn’t expecting accuracy, don’t really care. It’s been done as a romp, but it’s not even very good as that. The best thing in it is the relationship between John Ruskin and his wife, and Ruskin’s sex terror (real-life Ruskin freaked out on his wedding night when he discovered women had pubic hair). Unfortunately we lose that about halfway through and it gets played almost for laughs. Millais and William Morris are also played for laughs – again, God knows why. The best thing in it is the women, some great redheads all wasting themselves on undeserving idiot men. The women have character, even if they are played as sluts of one sort or another. The men are just Frat Boys 14 in period dress. Dull. Rosetti’s sister and mother have been written out of history and he is portrayed as a kind of dilettante moron. So no, definitely wouldn’t recommend you buy it. Hire it by all means; I don’t think it will bore you, but don’t buy it.
Still watching the Dollhouse. It’s a kind of sci-fi whorehouse thing, with humans as brainwashed and reprogrammable dolls. It isn’t all about sex, surprisingly, but has quite good storylines. Unusual. The best thing in it is the cold British bitch who leads the thing, and the boffin and cop are quite good, although the latter has a square jaw. Unfortunately, I don’t like the lead actress at all, she plays her role/s all wide-eyed and annoying, but she does make a good job of playing all the different characters, and she’s not so annoying you want to top her. I’m going on with it, although Max isn’t keen, but I’m not buying it just yet. Want to see more first.
We gave up on Burn Notice. It turned into a version of Monster of The Week (Spy/Scam of the week) and just got tedious. It was also afflicted with a really annoying Girlf in the shape of an ‘Irish’ woman (Gabrielle Anwar) who looks like an ant. Visualise Ally McBeal as a mutant and you’ve got her. Gross. It was made worse by the fact they kept sexing her up – very off-putting. I actually found myself putting my hand up to block the screen at one point, shouting “No, no, don’t go there, I don’t want to see!” when her and the hero were getting it on. So that one went back only half-watched.
Two last films I saw were Whiteout last night and Dorian Gray a few days ago. Whiteout was a big disappointment, it was just like an episode of a cop show and the denouement was atrocious. They uncovered a ‘secret’ at the end and it was the equivalent of finding a tin of beans. The two of us sat there going, “Beans? It was beans? You’re kidding me.” A complete waste of space.
Second was Dorian Gray. I enjoyed it even although it was Oscar Wilde does Twilight. The worst thing in it was Ben Barnes as Dorian. If ever a man wasn’t meant to play a role. He was wet and foppish and didn’t manage to convey aged corruption at all. He should really have a Danny thing going on. Not on your nelly. It came as no surprise to me, and made me smile, the last time I was on IMDB, to see some nancy-girl had put a thread on announcing “Live Journal slash group now on-line”. That says it all. It has been very firmly aimed at fan girls and the homosexuality has been cranked up accordingly. Typically though it is discreet, and toys with it like an Ann Rice novel – all costumes and rolling around in fake debauchery. But I did enjoy it, I cannot lie. It’s kind of camp and bizarre and looks rather nice, and Colin Firth is kind of bizarrely wooden as the evil mentor. If you picture Mr Darcy as a jealous vindictive queen you’re somewhere close. I reckon you’d probably enjoy it too if you don’t expect high art, or Oscar Wilde.
I’m watching the West Wing currently. Still don’t get the politics, and the walk and talk still annoys me, but I’ve grown to quite like Sheen’s president. I really like CJ, and could live without Josh and Donna, although they are funny enough. I shall soldier on.
So I’m sending you The Riches tomorrow. I’m also sending you an incredibly rare and valuable Martin Sheen movie that we watched for ten minutes and then gave up. It was the death by poisoned suitcase that did for us, and no, I’m not kidding. It’s an oldie from 1982 that I bought because it had Sam Neill in it. I like Sam, but we didn’t watch it long enough to see him. It’s called Enigma and I warn you now, there are mime artistes. Watch for the one who keeps appearing in the same scene in different places. Yes it’s a keeper. Martin is very young, slim and handsome in it so I thought you might get further than we did, and if nothing else you could lust after him and ignore the plot. It must be worth all of 0.05p, but don’t worry, you can pay us off in easy mothly installments over twelve years, or in illegal street drugs – I’m easy.
So look out for all these great goodies shortly, I’ll be sending in two envelopes again. Enjoy and try not to take down the Hubble telescope or the National Grid. X
Just getting my two-cents-worth in, Jodie. Didn’t like the Romantics thing at all and thought Dorian Gray was crap. Colin Firth was good when he had something to do and some great sets and locations, but, really, the fangirl pretty sex scenes and awful sound effects and animation of the portrait were pure crap. Maybe some of the odd noises were the sound of poor Oscar turning in his grave!
Well, I’m so glad you came and put your true opinions across, Maxie-baby. I mean the way I was describing them made you sound so reasonable. God Forbid.
you know, the douga had a constant complaint about the hardy’s mumbling, so the hardy promised that he would NOT mumble on Warrior.
i’m waiting to see if he kept his promise.
i agree that the wig on wuthering heights was ridiculous and distracting. but i really enjoyed the hardy in that role.
i hope you’re wrong that he’s gone as far as he can go. i am also hoping that Inception is not a bomb, cause that would really break his little heart.
Who is “the douga”, ZS?
the douga = hubby. most accurately described by my brother as “part chris elliott, part homer simpson”.
So has Douga been stalking Hardy too? Is this a bisexual thing he’s got going on?
no, it’s more accurate to say he’s been subjected to the hardy as i went through the hardy’s back catalogue. not much there to recommend, btw. there was a time when douga would cringe at the sight of tom hardy’s name on a movie description (netflix sends envelopes with the movie description on it), and even would joke when he saw a B-movie that tom hardy should have been in it, but then he saw THE TAKE and after that, he liked him, and has enjoyed his work. In fact, he only recently saw taxi driver (we realized one night of particularly bad tv that though it is in my collection, he had never seen it) and declared that tom hardy could have done that role just as well. i agreed.
but that comment to the hardy about his mumbling was when the first trailers for bronson came out and it was very hard to figure out what he was saying. perhaps easier for you brits, not too hard for a trained ear like mine, but definitely TOO hard for the douga.
so there is the history.
oh, and if douga were to go gay, there are a few waiting in line for that, but he says he thinks the guitarist from Blink 182 is cute. (he is)
I like Oliver Twist and Stuart, a life lived Backwards from his ‘back catalogue’; I’d say they were pretty good. But I’m more crushed Douga isn’t bisexual. Thought I’d found something interesting there…
douga might be bisexual, ultimately. i mean, those gay guys are in line for a reason.
the funny thing is when we first met, my best friend was a gay guy and the douga was a bit paranoid about AIDS so he told me to ditch my friend. i refused, and he learned to love the gay community.
are you bisexual, chance?
No more so than anyone else, and less so with age. Such is life. Used to do a really good lesbian impersonation as a kid though.
what? you wore flannel and cut your hair short? or was it some sort of dance or something? ah, you don’t have to tell me, it just made weird pictures pop up in my mind.
I did actually, now I think of it. I still have short hair. I used to wear Jesus sandals too, and I wasn’t allowed to shave my legs or armpits. That was kind of nice though. Always have preferred women (and men) natural rather than plucked and stubbly.